Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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