We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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