He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
