A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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