corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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