you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
