I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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