There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Enjoy the penises
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
