So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
