I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
