I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
