A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think my moral compass just broke
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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