Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
