Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
