He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
