dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
