Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
