we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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