She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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