No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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