Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
