You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
