GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just invented taco cereal.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
