Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just googled if crying burns calories
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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