Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
