yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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