dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
