thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
