he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
