So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
