I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
