They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
