sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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