we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
