sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
