you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
