dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
