This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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