We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
