there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
