Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize