I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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