she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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