you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
