Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The air was thick with penises
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
