these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
