If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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