I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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