I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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