I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
