Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
