I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
