he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
