I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize