Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
