I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
