my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize