Are we in a gay sports bar?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
