Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
