that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
