i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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