too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
