maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
